Guilty or Not Guilty? That is the question
Friday was the first day of the homeschool tutorial Â that my kids are taking this Fall. Â I was excited and a little nervous because it’s our first tutorial and I’m teaching a class there. Â However, on the way out this morning, I passed all the moms standing at the bus stop still talking after the bus had gone. Â The thought went through my head, “You are going to get to spend the whole day by yourself.” I brushed it away, not wanting to be distracted and went about my day.
After tutorial, the kids and I ran some errands, by the time we pulled back into the neighborhood, the same group of moms was waiting for the bus to come home.(And no, I don’t think they had been standing there all day.) Â Again I had the thought, “You got to spend all day by yourself.” Â I asked the Lord to forgive my jealous thoughts and was immediately guilt ridden for feeling that way.
When I got home I called and talked to my best friend about my thoughts, she brought out a few things that I needed to think about. And yes, I felt much better after talking with her. See the issue was not my jealousy (God dealt with that separately. ) or how my children were educated. I was one of those moms, for 5 years my children attended public school. Â And if I wasn’t at the school helping, I was feeling guilty because I couldn’t get there that day to help or assist, or go on the field trip.
It seems that no matter what my choices are as a mom, Satan is on the prowl to steal my joy. Â So the real questions here is not to homeschool or public school, but rather, “Am I going to allow Satan to steal my joy as a mom – period?” Because Satan will attack in any area of your “mom life.” Â Well, for me the answer is a resounding “NO!”
No, I do not have all the answers. Â No, I do not make every decision with complete confidence. No, I don’t get my housecleaned everyday. No, I don’t handle every situation with patience and a calm voice. No, I don’t get it right all the time.(whatever “it” is) Â No, I don’t wish for time by myself everyday. And No, sometimes I don’t listen to God like I should over what the world seems to be screaming at me.
I do love my children. I do try to set an example of how God loves, hopefully demonstrating that lesson to my kids (somedays are better than others). I do pray about most decisions in life. Â I do spend time teaching my kids and therefore sometimes the house has to be let go. Â I do try to get away from the world screaming in an effort to hear God more clearly. Â And I do know that I am a sinner saved by grace and that for that fact alone, God loves me and guilt does not have to be a part of everyday life.
So NO, Satan you can not have my joy! Â I am MOM and My God is the Lion, hear Him roar!